


Levi Goes On A Trip

by lyrasprinkles



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 420 blaze it, Accidentally High, Gen, Humor, Levi Be Trippin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyrasprinkles/pseuds/lyrasprinkles
Summary: Sasha gets angry with Levi and sends him on a trip. “Trip” may not mean what you think it does.





	

“Connie! Connie, where are you?” Sasha called as she ran through the corridor. Turning around a corner, she finally found her best friend, sweeping the floor alone.

“Connie!” She stopped before him, panting as she rested her hands on her knees. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Uh...hi?” Connie raised his eyebrow at her, confused. He waited until she caught her breath before saying, “Not all of us have the afternoon off, you know. Levi stuck me with cleaning duty. I have to clean this entire floor!” He grumbled incoherently under his breath.

“You won’t believe what I found in Jean’s room!” she exclaimed, grinning like a maniac. She gestured to him, as though prompting him to ask her.

“Uh, what did you find?” Connie asked cautiously. “No, wait – why were you in Jean’s room in the first place?”

“That’s not important,” Sasha said, waving her hand dismissively. “Take a look at this!”

She dug into her blouse, while Connie, who had turned scarlet, averted his eyes. “Ta-da!” Sasha sang, holding a translucent bag containing what appeared to green, moss-like dirt.

“Holy shit!” Connie’s eyes almost bulged out of his skull. “Sasha, what the hell are you doing with that? Do you even know what it is? Put it back, quick, before somebody catches us!”

“Connie, relax,” Sasha placed her hand on his shoulder, preventing him from grabbing the packet from her. “I know what this is. Do you know rare it is? How do you think Jean got his hands something like this? Eh, doesn’t matter. It’s ours now.”

“Sasha...” Connie looked distraught. “Don’t tell me you’re going to...”                    

“I’ve always wanted to try it,” she whispered, her eyes gleaming. “With how shitty everything’s been lately – I need this. Come on, Connie. You want it too. Admit it.”

“I...” he whispered, his mouth dry. Sasha was right. There was a voice inside his head, telling him it was a bad idea, but he didn’t care. He had heard of this rare plant before, as something that made you feel like you were amongst the Goddesses. And by Sina, he wanted to feel like that. He wanted to try it.

“Fine,” he said softly, grabbing her arm and pulling her down so that they were both sitting on the floor. He rested his broom against the wall. “How do we do this?”

“Well,” Sasha scratched her chin, thinking hard. “People usually smoke this stuff. So I guess we set it on fire and, uh, inhale the smoke?”

He gave her a look, as if to say “are you kidding me?” “Sasha, do you realize how stupid you sound right now? Besides,” He picked up the bag and dangled it in front of her face. “I don’t think this is the kind of stuff you smoke. It’s more likely that it’s meant to be cooked with something.”

Sasha narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “How would you know something like that?”

“I –” Before Connie could answer her, light footsteps echoed down the corridor.

“Quick! Hide the bag!” Connie hissed, and the two scrambled around like confused primates trying to decide what to do with it. Then there was a short game of catch as they juggled the bag among themselves, trying to push it on the other. Finally, Connie, unable to deal with the stress, shoved the bag back into Sasha’s shirt, right down to her stomach.

So when Levi finally appeared around the corner, he was more than a little surprised to find Connie with his hand down Sasha’s blouse.

He coughed lightly. “I thought I heard rats,” he said slowly, his steely-eyed gaze fixed on Connie as the boy hastily removed his hand from Sasha’s shirt. “And I was right.”

Connie and Sasha looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

“Springer,” he said, in the uncompromising tone he reserved for misbehaving cadets. “Care to explain?”

“Sir, I...uh...” Connie tried his best to think of a suitable excuse as to why he was groping Sasha. “We were just...she...uh...”

“We were making out!” Sasha blurted out suddenly.

Connie shot her a look, but she silently urged him to go with it. “Yeah! Totally!” He nodded furiously.

Levi did not look amused. “I send you here to clean, and I find you fooling around with...her.” His eyes traveled to Sasha. Even though the girl was in the Survey Corps, as evident by the Wings of Freedom on her jacket, for the life of him he could not remember what her name was. He knew that she was popular for being a glutton, a trait he did not relish.

“You,” he said, addressing the girl. “Who are you?”

“Sasha Blouse, sir!” She saluted him. “Graduation rank, 9th, sir!”

“I see,” He nodded at her, indicating that she stand at ease. “Are you and Springer seeing each other?”

“Yes, sir!” she replied, without missing a beat.

“Huh,” He did not know what to make of her or her relationship with Springer. Not that he cared in the slightest. He studied her up and down.

“You’re fat,” he said flatly. Sasha flushed angrily, but he ignored her. It was true. Her belly was round, and it was unusual for someone of her build to have a rounded belly like that.

She glared at him like she wanted to eat him, not unlike the way a Titan would.

“Perhaps some exercise would do you good,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you go down to the kitchen and make me a cup of tea?”

Sasha looked at him like he was retarded. “Sir, with all due respect...”

“She means yes!” Connie interrupted, slapping his hand on her mouth. “She would love to make you a cup of tea, sir.” He glared at Sasha.

“Fine,” Levi said. “Get going, then.” He clicked his fingers and pointed at the hallway. Sasha sighed loudly. She dragged her feet and walked away, muttering unintelligible curses under her breath.

“As for you, Springer,” Levi turned to Connie, the remaining survivor. “Maybe cleaning the second floor in addition to this one would make you think twice before attempting some like that again.”

He turned and walked away, following Sasha down the hallway. If he had not turned when he did, he would have certainly caught Connie flipping him off behind his back.

* * *

Sasha stomped down the stairs furiously. She was angry. Angry at Connie, angry at herself, but most importantly, angry at Levi. He said she was fat! _Fat!_ No one had ever called her fat before in her life! Even though she ate a lot, she always made sure she kept herself in good shape. No way was she fat.

And anyway, the only reason he thought she was fat was because Connie had shoved that stupid plant down her blouse. It made her look like she had a bulge, when she certainly didn’t. It was all Connie’s fault. He could have kept it in his own pants, but nooooo – he had to blame it on _her_.

Sasha marched towards the kitchen angrily, still annoyed that she had to make Levi a cup of tea. Couldn’t he do it himself? Was he so intent on embarrassing her that he was treating her like his own personal maid?

Ugh. The whole thing was a bad idea. She never should have shown Connie the bag in the first place. She patted her stomach lightly, wondering how she was going to get rid of it. She thought of Levi’s stupid smug face, and the haughty look he gave her when he insulted her.

An idea began to form in her mind. She would get her revenge, one way or the other.

* * *

“Sir.” Even though the door to Levi’s office was open, Connie stood outside, too afraid to come in. “Permission to enter?”

“Come in,” Levi said, without looking up from his paperwork.

Connie walked to the desk and saluted firmly. Ever since his faux pas during introduction three years ago, he had been careful of how and when he saluted his superiors.

Levi nodded at him to stand at ease.

“I swept both the floors, sir,” he said tiredly, as the Captain’s grey eyes studied him. “May I be excused now?”

“No,” Levi replied curtly. With a sigh, he leant back in his chair. “Your girlfriend still isn’t here with my tea.”

Connie swallowed nervously. What was Sasha up to now?

“I hope she hasn’t been thinking about disobeying my orders,” he continued, his tone getting more dangerous with each word.

Connie’s mouth went dry. He knew what Levi was implying. “No, sir, I’m sure she hasn’t,” he said slowly.

“Because if she has,” Levi leaned forward, not breaking eye contact, “It’ll be your ass on the line, brat.”

Connie gulped. “Permission to go check on her, sir?”

“Get lost,” Levi snorted, leaning back into his chair as Connie quickly scurried out of the room.

A few minutes later, Connie reappeared, a strange look on his face. He did not bother asking for permission to enter. Rather, he just walked into the room, looking dazed.

“Springer!” Levi said sharply. “Have you forgotten your manners? Get out!”

Connie blinked, as though he just remembered where he was and who he was speaking to. He shook his head, trying to snap out of his trance, and hurried out of Levi’s office.

After Levi granted him permission to enter, he said, “Sir, um, about Sasha...”

“What is it?” Levi replied, sounding bored. He had given up on his tea by now, and was looking forward to punishing the insolent brat later.

“She’s uh,” Connie said hesitantly. “She’s on her way here with the tea. It took her long because she, um, wanted to bake you some muffins to go along with it.”

“Muffins?” Levi asked suspiciously. He was used to having his evening tea plain, without any snacks. He had just asked for the tea and nothing else. Why on earth would the girl _bake_ something for him? What was wrong with her?

Then it struck him. The muffins were obviously her way of apologizing. She was trying to make up for her behavior earlier in the only way she knew – through food. She wanted to get on his good side.

Levi smirked. Well, her plan wasn’t going to work if he could see right through it.

As if on cue, Sasha knocked on the door loudly, startling him. The delicious scent of fresh muffins invaded his office, and Levi felt his mouth watering.

“Your tea, sir,” Sasha smiled at him sweetly. She gestured to the tray in her hand.

Levi nodded at her. She entered the room, ignoring Connie, who had turned crimson for some reason. She placed the tray on the table and smiled at him again.

“I am _so_ sorry for my behavior, Captain,” she said, trying to sound as sincere as she could. “And I apologize for taking such a long time to get you your tea. I hope these muffins make up for it.”

Levi looked at the tray she had placed on his desk. The strong smell of black tea, coupled with that warm, buttery muffin smell, invaded his nose. He felt like he was in heaven. Damn the girl. She certainly knew the right way to a man’s heart.

“You’re excused,” he mumbled, itching for them to leave so that he could try the muffins in peace. “Get out. Both of you.”

Sasha smiled at him and saluted, before skipping out of the room merrily. Normally he would have told her off for skipping in his office – only Erwin and Hange were allowed to do that – but right now he just wanted her _gone_. Connie, however, shot him an uncertain look, before following Sasha out of the room.

Finally. Levi picked up the cup of tea and took a sip. Mmm. It wasn’t half bad. The girl certainly knew her way around the kitchen. She might be useful for something after all.

He picked up a muffin and studied it. Sasha had generously provided not one, not two, but three large muffins for him, all causing him to salivate. He bit into one of them. Truth be told, he had never eaten a muffin before, but it was delicious. There was a slight sour tone to it, one he couldn’t quite place, but he continued eating it. Mmm. _So. Good._

He polished off the first one and immediately bit into the second muffin. They were delicious, unlike anything he had ever eaten before. If the fat girl wanted forgiveness for her sins, she more than deserved it. In fact, he had half a mind to promote her to Official Cook of the Survey...

Hang on. The girl who had just served him his tea, she...wasn’t fat. Her belly was much flatter than he remembered it to be. Was she the same girl? Did she have a twin?

What if the thin girl was an impostor? What if the thin girl cloned the fat girl and then impersonated her and joined the Survey Corps? Oh god, what if the thin girl was an enemy Titan Shifter?

He had to do something. He had to warn the authorities. He had to tell Levi.

Wait. Wasn’t he Levi? That’s right. He WAS Levi. So he couldn’t warn himself. He had to tell someone else. Only, who?

Erwin chose that moment to waltz into Levi’s office.

“Hey, Levi, you busy?” he asked casually.

Erwin. His boss. Erwin was here.

“Erwin!” Levi ran forward and grabbed his boss’s collar. “THERE’S CLONING IN THE SURVEY CORPS!”

“What?” Erwin asked, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“THE THIN GIRL CLONED THE FAT GIRL AND INFILTRATED THE SURVEY CORPS!” Levi screamed, shaking Erwin.

“Levi, are you alright?” Erwin said. “Your eyes are red and you’re acting like –”

“SHE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL!” Levi yelled.

“Levi?” Erwin said slowly. “Please stop shaking me.”

Levi blinked. Was he shaking Erwin? Wasn’t Erwin the one shaking _him_?

He looked around for his hands, and found them on Erwin’s collar. Slowly, he let go and studied his hands.

 _Are these really my hands?_ he thought. _Were they always this small? Wait, it isn’t just my hands. It’s me. I’m small. I am SO fucking small._

“Well, I wouldn’t call you _small_ ,” Erwin said. “More like you’re short. Really short. Like a Hobbit.”

Holy shit. Was Erwin reading his mind?

Erwin shook his head and leaned out of the door.

“Kirstein?” he said, calling to Jean who had been passing by. “Could you come here for a minute?”

Jean entered the room, confused as to why he was being summoned. “What is it, Commander?”

“Look at him,” Erwin gestured to Levi, who was wondering aloud if he was in the Matrix. “Don’t you think he’s acting weird?”

Jean frowned. He cocked his head to the side and studied Levi for a moment. He took in Levi’s red eyes, sweaty brow and paranoid expression. Then he caught sight of the muffin on his desk. A panicked look appeared on his face.

“What are you talking about, sir?” he laughed nervously. “Captain Levi seems fine to me. Yep. Completely fine. Not at all like he’s high. No, sir.”

Erwin frowned. “Are you saying that he’s high?”

“What? No!” Jean replied, pretending to sound shocked. “How could you suggest such a thing, Commander? This is Captain Levi we’re talking about! Strong, intelligent, totally-not-licking-the-wall-right-now Captain Levi! There is no way he’s _high!_ ”

The Commander sighed loudly. “Thank you, Kirstein. That’s all I needed to know. Please tell Squad Leader Hange that I wish to speak with her immediately.”

Jean nodded and disappeared, eager to escape from the room. He was both confused and terrified. There was a slight possibility that the stuff Levi had consumed was his. But how did he find it in the first place? Did he raid his room? Did he accidentally bake it into his muffins, not knowing what it was? But that made no sense. How could a man who had lived underground for as long as Levi had not know the herb when he saw it?

There was only one explanation. It wasn’t his. Levi had somehow cooked his own. Yep. Not his.

With a sigh of relief, he made his way to Hange’s office.

* * *

“Commander Erwin! Commander Erwin!” Eren and Mikasa rushed into Levi’s office, both pushing each other away to get through the door first. “We heard!”

Erwin scrunched up his nose at them. Levi was now sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, insisting that he could feel his ‘chakra’. “You’re not Hange,” Erwin said.

“You guys...why...do you...have...to run...so fast...” Armin appeared through the doorway, panting. He took one look at Levi and said, “Oh my. So it _is_ true.”

“Everyone shut up!” Levi yelled at them. “I can’t hear the fucking albatross!”

“Yep.” Eren shook his head sadly. “He’s high all right.”

“Where did you hear this from?” Erwin asked the trio.

“Jean told Han – Squad Leader Hange that Le – Captain Levi was, and I quote, ‘Higher than the Colossal Titan riding a fucking kite.’” Mikasa said, making finger quotes in the air. “We came as fast as we could.”

“Not out of concern, obviously,” Erwin said dryly.

“Nope!” Eren shook his head cheerfully. “How could we miss out on something as epic as this?”

Erwin rubbed his temples with both hands, clearly tired of dealing with the situation. “If that’s all, you may leave now.”

“Erwin!” Levi said sharply from the floor. He stood up, looking irritated. “Thanks to you and your BIG MOUTH, the albatross got away! I –” He stopped speaking and stared at Erwin, as though he was looking at him for the first time.

“You’re...huge,” he whispered.

“Levi,” Erwin groaned, placing his hand on the shorter man’s shoulder. “We’ve been over this. I’m huge. You’re short. Anything else?”

“You’re a Titan,” Levi whispered. He looked at Eren, Mikasa and Armin, his eyes wide and filled with panic. “That’s why he’s so big! He’s a Titan! We can’t trust him anymore!”

Erwin turned to the trio, looking helpless. “See? See what I have to deal with? Seriously, _where IS Hange?_ ”

“Look at his eyebrows!” Levi exclaimed. He placed his fingers on Erwin’s eyebrows and wiggled them up and down, much to the amusement of Eren, Mikasa and Armin. “He has Titan eyebrows! They look like giant caterpillars!” He brought both the eyebrows together, so that the Commander looked like he was frowning. “See? Now the caterpillars are kissing!”

“Oh, this is priceless,” Eren began to laugh loudly, which set the other two off too. “I wish we had some sort of technology that could capture this moment, just so that I could see Levi’s face later when he realizes what an idiot he was being! Armin, do something about it.”

“Fuck caterpillars,” Levi said suddenly, letting go of Erwin. “Fuck insects. Darned things. Always eating my tea leaves.” He smiled maliciously. “I’m so glad I poisoned them with Shitty Glasses’ shitty chemicals.”

“I HAVE ARRIVED!” Hange sang, gliding through the doorway like she was performing a musical number. Jean followed behind her. “Doctor Hange is in the house! Where is my patient?”

“Speak of the devil and she doth appear,” Armin said.

“Shitty Glasses is here!” Levi said gleefully. He pulled her into a hug. “Shitty Glasses! I missed you so much!”

“Even when he’s high he’s still calling her that,” Armin muttered.

“Wait, he’s really high?” Hange said in amazement. “I thought Kirstein was joking!”

“The gang’s all here!” Levi said, giggling. “There’s Shitty Glasses, Horseface, Eyebrow Titan Man and the Golden Trio – Jaeger Bombastic, _her_ and Krista. Nice.”

“Why don’t I get a nickname?” Mikasa said in a pitiful voice.

“Because you’re _her_ ,” Levi said simply.

“Okay, everyone, focus!” Erwin said sharply. “So, from what I’ve gathered so far, someone has given Levi an infusion of a substance that is causing him to behave like this. We have to get him back to normal. Any ideas?”

“Um, sir?” Armin raised his hand. “How did he become like this? Did you see him smoking when you got here? Did you smell something weird?”

“No, he was behaving like this when I found him,” Erwin shrugged. “I don’t think he smoked anything. I couldn’t see any signs of it when I got here.”

“And we know that Levi isn’t the kind of guy to do this voluntarily,” Hange said, stroking her chin. “Which means that someone did this to him.”

They all looked at each other, shocked.

“This...this isn’t like the Female Titan thing, right?” Eren said, sounding scared. “You don’t think anyone is trying to betray us and hurt Levi?”

Realization dawned on Erwin. “When I...when I got here,” he whispered, “Levi was screaming. About cloning and infiltration and thin girls and fat girls...something about a girl who wanted to kill everyone. I didn’t take it seriously then, but...”

“Wait, what?” Jean said sharply. “What’s this about a girl? You’re saying that a girl did this to him?”

“That’s what I think,” Erwin replied. “Who could it be? Lenz, Blouse and Ymir are all good, honest cadets, and I don’t want to suspect any of the others...”

The group fell back into silence. Suddenly, Mikasa raised her hand.

“Excuse me,” she said. “But I think you should see this.”

They all turned in the direction Mikasa was pointing in, where Levi was seated in the corner. Mouths fell open as they realized what he was doing – or rather, _what_ he was doing.

“OH,” said Armin.

“MY,” said Eren.

“GOD!” said Hange.

Everyone watched in horror as Levi furiously made out with his mop, his fingers tangled in its strings and his mouth running all over the pole.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmured, placing soft kisses all over its base. “I wanna take you back to my place –” he kissed it again, “and rip off your clothes –” and again, “and fuck you so hard you’re gonna see stars.” His tongue circled the pole.

Erwin reached forward to snap him out of it, but Eren put his arm out, stopping him.

“Don’t.” he whispered.

“Yeager, we have to stop this! He has no idea what he’s doing!” Erwin urged.

“No,” Eren whispered again. “This is so beautiful. We can’t stop him.”

Erwin sighed helplessly. Beside him, Armin’s face turned green. He placed his hand over his mouth and left the room quickly.

“Wait, what’s that?” Levi said suddenly.

Everyone frowned, wondering what he was talking about. They strained their ears to try and listen to what he was hearing.

“You want some of this?” Levi whispered seductively. He dropped the broom on the floor and picked up the feather duster beside it.

“You’re a jealous little bitch, aren’t you?” he murmured, stroking the duster’s handle. “Can’t handle seeing me with someone else, right? Well, too bad! If you wanted this booty, you should’ve said something before! It’s too late now!”

Hange, Jean and Mikasa were practically crying now from laughing so much. Eren had pulled out a notebook and was writing down everything Levi was saying. Erwin was the only one who was worried about Levi.

“Oh, and we got another jealous whore over here!” Levi said gleefully, picking up a bottle of Windex and bringing it up to his face. “Yeah, that’s right. I see you. I see the way you look at me. I know you want this.” He gestured to his body.

He paused, before adding, “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want you too.”

Everyone (including the mop, the duster and the bottle of Windex) turned scarlet as they heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down.

“Okay, you’re right,” Eren said, looking horrified. “We need to stop this!”

Before Erwin could do anything, however, Armin burst through the door. “Levi, don’t!” He yelled, running forward to join the gang. “Don’t do it! You can’t cheat on Evangeline!”

“Oh yeah,” Erwin said, as though he just remembered that Levi was still in a relationship with his broom. “Levi, you have to stay loyal to her!”

Eren, Mikasa, Jean and Hange had no idea what Armin and Erwin were talking about, but they decided to play along. “Yeah, Levi!” they cried. “Don’t do it!”

Levi blinked at them. He had no idea what they were talking about. To him, their speech sounded distorted, like as though they were speaking underwater. He could see their mouths moving, and he could hear the sound they were making, but he couldn’t understand what they were saying.

He stood still and tried to listen. They were all speaking at the same time, so the sounds reaching his ears all sounded like a cacophony. He tried to read their lips. They were speaking fast, and he struggled to follow the words their mouths were forming. He focused on Erwin.

“Leeeevaiiiiii,” Erwin said, shaking his frantically. “LEEEEE-VAIIIII!”

He blinked. He turned to Hange. She was saying the same thing. Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Jean. They were all saying his name.

“LEVI,” they said. “Levi. Levi. LEVI.”

Levi. That was his name. They were saying his name. Levi. Leave-I. Le-vi. L-E-V-I. LEVILEVILEVILEVILEVILEVILEVI.

Wait. Was that right? His name was EVIL? Holy shit. His name _was_ Evil. He was evil.

Now he knew. He knew why so many bad things were happening to them. He knew why the Titans kept attacking them. He knew why his soldiers and friends kept dying.

It was all his fault. He was evil. He was the source of all the bad things that were happening. Him. Evil.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t cause any more pain and suffering to his friends than he already had.

This had to stop. He was going to put an end to it right now. And there was only one way to do it – he had to kill himself.

He took a deep breath, and pulled out his swords.

“What the –” Jean started.

Erwin’s eyes widened as he realized what Levi was about to do. “LEVI NO!” he screamed.

But before Erwin could move, something glided past him. Before any of them could realize what was happening, Levi was on the ground, unconscious. His swords lay beside him.

Eren stood next to Levi, his foot on Levi’s shoulder. He smiled smugly at the others.

“Did you,” Erwin said slowly, trying to understand what just happened. “Did you just _kick_ Captain Levi?”

Eren’s smile grew wider. “Revenge is a dish best served...with my legs.”

Everyone facepalmed.

* * *

After the matter had been cleared up and Levi had been taken to the infirmary, Jean walked towards the girls’ bunk with his hands behind his back. He spotted Sasha sitting outside, watching the sky, and made his way towards her.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down beside her, careful to conceal the object he had carried.

“Hi Jean,” Sasha said, smiling at him. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing,” Jean said innocently. “Did you hear about Captain Levi?”

And there it was. He saw the tiniest crack of a smile on her face. That was all the proof he needed.

“No, what happened to him?” she asked.

“Apparently he got really high and had to be taken to the infirmary,” he said, studying her carefully. “Weird, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied, biting her lip. He could tell that she was trying her best not to laugh. “So weird.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching the sun sink beneath the horizon.

“Anyway,” Jean said, standing up, before helping Sasha to her feet. “I found this in his office.”

He pulled out the object he was hiding, which was the last muffin from Levi’s evening snack. He had snuck it out of the room when no one was looking.

“As soon as I saw this,” he continued. “I thought of you. I thought you might like a delicious muffin like this.”

“Oh,” Sasha turned pale. “Oh, no, Jean, I couldn’t...”

“What’s wrong?” he said suspiciously. “You never say no to food. Don’t you want it?”

Sasha’s eyes searched his face, as though she was trying to find out if he was playing her or not. “I...no, I want it.” She gingerly accepted the muffin and gave him a watery smile. “Thank you, Jean.”

“Aren’t you going to eat it?” he demanded. “You’re acting weird today. Usually you would have finished it off so fast that there’d be crumbs on your mouth by now.”

Her mouth went dry. “I’ll eat it later,” she whispered.

“Eat it.” He commanded.

“No,” she said.

“Eat the muffin, Sasha.”

“No.”

“DAMMIT SASHA I SAID EAT THE MUFFIN!” In anger, Jean picked up the muffin and shoved it in her mouth. Sasha’s eyes widened in shock. With Jean forcing the damned thing down her throat, she had no choice but to swallow.

“That’s more like it,” he said, pleased. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you, Sasha. For being such a good friend to me. I hope we can continue being friends in the future.”

Sasha’s eyes began to water. She nodded helplessly.

Jean smirked. Without another word, he walked away, anticipating the next round of chaos the day would bring.

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's 420 somewhere.


End file.
